So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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