Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
