:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
