I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
