Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
