You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
