So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We left an ass print on the piano.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
