Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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