Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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