I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize