would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
