it's too hot outside to masturbate.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
