oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
