you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
