youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Swine flu is the new snow day.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
