Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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