If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
