Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize