Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize