I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
