You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
