Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
