Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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