Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
