I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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