We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
third nipple confirmed
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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