I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
