i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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