Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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