I must be too annoying 4 u.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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