I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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