come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
