You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
