my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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