That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
