Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
