he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
