new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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