There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
