It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
