She's JV to your varsity
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
