they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
