): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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