Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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