i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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