I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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