Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize