Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize