I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
