insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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