He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
