running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
