"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
