I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
