Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
