Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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