i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
