i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
