i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
