I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
