are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
