No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
