My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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