Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
