alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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