Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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