My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
3 2 1 whiskey
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
