yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
