Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
