Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
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