Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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