hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You are a genius and a whore.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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