Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
