he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm like, not good at living.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
