She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
