Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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