that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
