hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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