I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
