evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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