I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
