my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
