DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i barfeds in our rink
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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