There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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