i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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