Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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