you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
