HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
