the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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