Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
why is half of my head shaved?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
